Author Chester Burton Brown
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For new material please visit my main blog, CHEESEBURGER BROWN: SCI-FI STORY WALLAH.
Author Chester Burton Brown

20050515

Darth Vader's Day Off


Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Do you know what I think about being ordered to sit on my hands and wait aboard Executor? Blast it. You heard me: blast it right where the Sith don't shine.

I woke up this morning in a foul humour coupled with the determination not to spend another day staring at the walls in my hyperbaric chamber. In fact, I smashed my hyperbaric chamber -- which may have been overzealous, but it felt really good.

Klaxons rang out and a platoon of stormtroopers rushed through the doors. I pushed past them and into the corridor, breezing past a flotilla of stunned-looking repair droids and into the lift. While it ran through the levels I cracked my knuckles and grumbled to myself. Blasted Palpatine! Blasted galaxy!

When the ride stopped I noticed a minor clerk cowering in the corner of the elevator, sweat running down his cheeks as he whispered over and over again in a paralyzed mantra, "Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me..."

"As you were," I rumbled, and swept out into the landing hangar.

I crossed the floor briskly, ignoring the queries and then shouts of the deck officer, heading directly for the bank of sleek TIE fighters parked against the starboard berth. A group of pilots dropped their conversation to watch me approach, suddenly nervous.

"Good morning, Lord Vader," called the senior pilot. "What can we do for you today?"

"I will take that fighter," I declared, never slackening in my pace as I bore down on their small group.

"My Lord, you're not actually authorized to --"

I proceeded to the mounting ladder, his limp corpse dropping to the deck behind me. The other pilots took a respectful step back.

Once secured in the cockpit I used the laser cannons to smear the deck officer across the hangar in a long, black streak. His subordinates jumped to action in the control booth and I saw the green signal for launch clearance flash on my TIE fighter's display. A timid voice crackled through the communicator: "Enjoy your flight, Lord Vader. She has a full tank."

"Very good," I replied and then without further preamble blazed the thrusters and sent the nimble fighter to the glowing mouth of the atmospheric shields and out into space, pilots and crew jumping aside to avoid the skim of my wings.

Space!

Infinite, unthinking, beautiful -- there is no peace like it in this world, whether by trance or narcotic. Married with the joy of flight the unblinking starscape becomes my paradise. Weightless, my ruined body feels young strength. Boundless, my spirit soars.

I veered tight across the bridge of Executor, no doubt causing Admiral Piett to spill his tea. I carried her over the deflector shield arrays and then plunged down Endor's massive gravity-well, thrusting hard at the last second and shooting out along the planet's limb followed by a trail of burning sky.

The silver clouds of the gas giant careened away to port as I throttled back and steered her toward a volcanic moon. I skirted the surface, dodging between pillars of sulpherous spume, hurtling between the rocklet baby moons the ashen orb carried as it crawled around Endor.

A little blue light indicating that I was exceeding the fighter's design parameters kept flashing, so I popped it with a thought. Bloody engineers!

In the tranquility born of extreme evasive manoeuvring I found my thoughts drawn to Sullust. The Force may work in mysterious ways but its sense of symmetry is uncanny: the Rebel fleet is massing on exactly the other side of the galaxy from Endor, cast off in the darkness of the opposite rim.

Twin foundations separated by a galaxy, one sworn to uphold order and other sworn to disturb it.

The Sanctuary Moon loomed in my scopes, the Death Star hanging like a jewel above it. As I drew nearer I felt each tendril of Force my ship crossed, thousands of threads of connection from all across the cosmos converging in the heart of my master, the Dark Lord Sidious and Emperor Palpatine. And yet...

And yet there is a cable of causality that snakes from hyperspace to this world, trillions of life destinies somehow knitted into its fabric. It blazes against the blackness of my closed eyes, its wandering fringes caressing both the forest moon and the battle-station, nodes of fate quivering at the edge of actualization behind the velvet....

And yet it connects to my master not at all.

There can be but one explanation: the galaxy prepares for my ascension. The fulfillment of the prophecy is nigh.

I have never felt so alive.


103 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Genious, pure genious ...

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Second comment-dang.... Vader prepares-wonder if he can do a falshback before he "meets his destiny". A flashback to when he was anakin and qui gon and training under obi wan. (ideas for author) ;)

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Darth Vader:

They have TEA on board the Executor? Real, genuine TEA?

Can I have some?

Yours,
Tea-Deprived Rebel Scum

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...when he was anakin and memories of qui gon..."

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I proceeded to the mounting ladder, his limp corpse dropping to the deck behind me. The other pilots took a respectful step back."

ROTFLMAO!!!!

A great way to start the morning!

15.5.05  
Anonymous Bureau of Naval Morale said...

Lord Vader,

I am concerned about the apparent lack of morale aboard the Executor. After consultation with a number of stress consultants we have come up with two suggestions:

1) Paint a smiley face on your masque.
2) Tell people to "have a nice day" more often.

We hope that these two simple suggestions can be implemented ASAP. Remember, a happy warship is a deadly warship.

The Bureau of Naval Morale

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I cracked my knuckles"

Forgive my my arrogance and ignorance.

"Flexed my animatronic prosthetic fingers beyond specifications" might be more accurate considering your lack of biological fingers and associated knuckles.

Of course, in the poetic licence, your original version rolls off the tongue much easier.

15.5.05  
Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Re: The Admiral's tea

Maybe he was using it as a Brownian motion producer for the improbability drive.

Wait - wrong galaxy. Sorry!

15.5.05  
Blogger PolesPosition said...

Lord Vader,

Pardon me for asking you to recall something from long ago, I know you are trying to be mindful of the present and yet still plan for the important events of the next few days.

Would you please share your knowledge and insight into Master Jedi Sifo-Dyas, his ordering of the clone army, and his demise. I was thinking your Master probably shared some of the details with you at some point. Or that you stumbled across them once or twice while trying to penetrate the fog of his mind.

Again, not meaning to distract you with the past, I'm just curious.

Regards,

PolesPosition

15.5.05  
Anonymous Grand Master Bling said...

dear cheeseburger,

may i ask what preperations do you make or other considerations in order to for you to keep vader's blog as accurate as possible? once again, the force is strong in this one..

15.5.05  
Anonymous Slade said...

**** it, i got ***kin' tenth comment
You should have crashed into a volcano or crush one with your stupid force or send it hurling at the executor

15.5.05  
Anonymous Slade said...

***k it more i missed tenth, i got eleventh

15.5.05  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown said...

Grand Master Bling,

My research sources consist of the body of Lucasfilm movies and whatever information is available through the Databank on the Official Star Wars website.

I once sampled one of the SW spin-off novels when I was stuck at a cottage with no decent books, but I found it far too clumsy and insipid to read all the way through. So, I am not really too familiar with events that are supposed to take place post-Episode VI.

My feeling on this is that while there is a wealth of "expanded universe" lore to draw upon, most of the general reading public has no knowledge of it. They've just seen the movies, same as I have. They're not wondering about Xizor and Mara. They have no idea how or when exactly Vader found out that Luke was his son, because it happened between movies. Since this is the primary audience I am targeting, their ignorance is my ignorance. What we don't know won't kill us, much as it might discomfit some of the more hardcore nerdtronic readers who wince any time I stray from the expanded canon.

Basically, when I've really screwed up I count on getting about a hundred e-mails from disgruntled fans.

Love,

CheeseburgerBrown

15.5.05  
Blogger Patrick McFarland said...

Twelveth?

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lord Vader,

Thanks for the idea on how to spend Sunday afternoon. No, I can't kill sycophantic officers. I am civilian, and such things are frowned upon here anyway.

Have you ever driven a speeder at barely subsonic speeds across Salt Flats, only to have to punch reverse thrust when that little old man in the Plymouth K car is crawling along in front of you, and you get that adrenalin rush?

Yeah. That's pretty cool.

The Man Behind the Curtain

15.5.05  
Blogger Sirius Green said...

Cool insight into Darth Vader. I don't really care if George Lucas wrote it or not - he's not exactly been on form lately, has he? (I say this prior to seeing Episode III).

Sirius

15.5.05  
Blogger Luke Skywalker said...

The Emperor feels cut off because he is, just as you are. The Dark Side is a way of distancing yourself from the Force, dominating it without truly feeling it.

The fact that you still have moments of introspection only proves more to me that you're not beyond redemption. I'd bet the Emperor never has those...

15.5.05  
Blogger Joel d. Hathaway said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

15.5.05  
Blogger Joel d. Hathaway said...

The following is a daily missing persons report from the IGCRMP:

Case 98765: Clone trooper 098425 – Brown eyes and hair, olive/tan skin. Answers to “098425.” Last seen wearing a white uniform somewhere in the vicinity of Dantooine.

Case 98766: Clone trooper 108525 – Brown eyes and hair, olive/skin. Answers to “108525.” Last seen wearing a white uniform somewhere in the vicinity of the detention block of the Death Star.

Case 98767: Clone trooper 258025 - Brown eyes and hair, olive/skin. Answers to “258025.” Last seen wearing a white uniform somewhere in the vicinity of the men’s room in the Kessel system.

Case 98768: Yoda (a.k.a., Jedi Master, little green friend, Master Yoda, friend). Disguises: sometimes Yoda parts his four hairs to the right instead of to the left. Don’t let this confuse you. Last seen wearing a tan outfit wielding a lightsaber somewhere on the chamber floor.

If you have knowledge about the whereabouts of the following individuals, last seen with Darth Vader, please contact the Inter-Galactic Council for the Recovering of Missing Persons (IGCRMP)

15.5.05  
Anonymous Tommy Mottole said...

Darth is now quoting Ferris Bueller !!!

15.5.05  
Anonymous Jonathan Livingston Seagull said...

Hmmm? Your thoughts on flight remind me of . . . me! As a non-raptor bird, however, I cant' go around killing other birds.

15.5.05  
Anonymous no one of consequence said...

"atmospheric shields and into out space," Lord Vader? Perhaps you are still a little worked up over your adventure. Did you mean "into outer space?"

15.5.05  
Blogger AllanEising said...

D. Vader,
I have been following your articles since the beginning. I was especially quite fascinated by your article about the "tao" of the force. One thing struck me in one of your later comments to that article: You need to make a better name for your future apprentice. "Darth Skywalker" won't work. I can't really come up with something better right now, but I will surely let you know when I come to something.
Sometimes I wish I was born with the force in me too, but then I think about how the Sith only has two, and both seats are taken, and I know that I would not be able to stand up to you. There are no greater Sith than the two of you, so I am happy to be an observer of the Sith, as I feel I am now.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Curious On Executor said...

Dear.. Vader,

Do you prefer 'Lord' or 'Darth'?

15.5.05  
Blogger Smack said...

Another fantastic entry.

I'm syndicating you on my blog, which I hope is o.k.. Keep it coming, you are pure genius!

15.5.05  
Anonymous ferris beuler said...

your opening line looks a little familiar, lord vader...

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darth Skywalker? Should be Darth Whiner.

And Cheeseburger, with all the other suggestions for LOTR characters tp blog, the best would be the Witch-king of Angmar; a most under-used and under-appreciated second in command.

You could do him justice.

15.5.05  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

I must admit I felt a little envious. Riker will never let me have a fly around in a Space Shuttle for the possiblilty of endangering myself.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the DVD reissue of Ep V, The Emperor tells Darth Vader that Luke is Anakin's son. Just a heads up.

15.5.05  
Blogger z said...

Captain Picard, when you can crush the insolent Riker's windpipe with just a thought, then you too can go flying off in a shuttlecraft whenever you damned well please.

That or learn how to say "I outrank you, idiot."

15.5.05  
Blogger Cheeseburger Brown said...

Anonymous,

In the highly unlikely event that I ever publish another fictional blog series, I think I'd have to dig a little deeper than anything from LOTR. It's been done, and following Vader it seems a touch obvious.

Any other suggestions that might trod fresher turf?

Love,

CheeseburgerBrown

15.5.05  
Blogger PolesPosition said...

CheeseburgerBrown,

Agent Smith, perhaps?

PolesPosition

15.5.05  
Anonymous Darth Ronald said...

Your free time is your free time, of course.

But may I suggest that the next time you encounter that 'Burger King' entity aboard your midship televator, you do more than breath heavy at him?

The impression left by your meeting with the plastic poseur, was that by allowing him continued existence, you approved of him. Accordingly, the clone troopers have not only been demanding cheeseburgers for their fare, but also small marketing-inspired toys, which I note have included not a single Sith personage.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Cheeseburger Man,

If you are looking for material in the land of probably offensive, you could try Hitler, although that would be difficult to make without getting death threats.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Darth Nicasio said...

Anyone who would have the nerve to tell a Sith Lord that he's not authorized to do anything deserves what happens to him.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Deckhand A5342-Niner said...

Enjoy your flight sir, she has a full tank

A full tank of *what*, pray tell, Master of All-That-Is-Dark-Yet-Still-Solar-Powered.

Deckhand A5342-Niner

PS
Please don't crush my trachea again.

15.5.05  
Blogger Solomon2 said...

Darth Vader:

An excellent blog, full of excellent adventures! Do you also endorse breakfast cereals?

15.5.05  
Blogger matt said...

While "I cracked my knuckles" and "Space!" made me chuckle, it was the Top Gun reference that brought on a guffaw (or perhaps a chortle).

15.5.05  
Anonymous Ronald Snijder said...

Dear Cheesburgerbrown,

A humble suggestion for another blog: Alien - memoirs of a mother. Oh, and in Dutch (my native language) 'vader' means 'father'.
-ronald-

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant yet, more brilliant.

well done lord vader,
keep up the good work.

General Rujj'utt'epne

of the Chiss Ascendancy

15.5.05  
Blogger Remo said...

Very nice work.

15.5.05  
Blogger Eskeletor said...

I was intrigued by cheeseburger's description of the Force as a web of strings that tie across space... and what do you know, while browsing his other writings I came across this piece!

Really, check it out. Not only is it related and expands on it, but also kinda blew my mind.

15.5.05  
Blogger SEO Guru said...

Great read for any star wars fan, congratulations on getting blogs of note status.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear cheeseburgerbrown...

A new villain blog that hasn't been done?

Hmmm.

Lex Luthor's blog? Considering the man has gone from mad scientist to crimelord to ruthless businessman to politician to president and then back to mad scientist again, the dear bald one may be a good idea.

Or perhaps a blog for Batman, going with the opposite end of the moral spectrum, but staying in the tall, dark and intimidatingly caped area? :-)

15.5.05  
Blogger VW said...

Another villain's blog? How 'bout:

1. Doctor Doom
2. Magneto
3. The Penguin (he's a nightclub owner with underworld connections now)
4. Ernst Stavro Blofeld
5. Wile E. Coyote
6. James Moriarty
7. Supervillain wannabe in training
8. Casanova
9. The Master (from Dr. Who)
10. chancellor Gowron (from TNG/DS9)

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Lord Vader,

I know that a few people have asked this question before, but I haven't seen an answer:

What do you plan to do as the new ruler of the galaxy?

Please don't crush my trachea, I'm just a humble fan.

15.5.05  
Anonymous anne said...

No.

Write your own characters from now on. Give yourself some credit.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cheeseburger,

Since you reference it so often (which is awesome), you should do the Mule, from the Foundation trilogy.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The emperor has banished you from his presence for a purpose, that he may keep his ultimate secret, even from you.

The Rebel Alliance is a fraud, and always has been!!

15.5.05  
Blogger Uesha Maul said...

Good for you Lord Vader. Everyone needs a day-off. Keep on Truckin' My Lord.

L8R
Darth Nexus

15.5.05  
Blogger Corax said...

CheeseburgerBrown,

In terms of other character blogs, I'd peraonally love to see a good writer do Severus Snape, for once--but Snape fanfic has been done to death and worse, alas.

Someone mentioned Hitler... I dunno about that, but would you be averse to blogging a historical figure? Benedict Arnold, Lizzie Borden, Al Capone... maybe even Jack the Ripper?

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about non-fiction? Say Napoleon?

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cheeseburgerbrown,

although you claim to not read any post-episode 6 novels, you strike very close to one of the revelations of Han and Leia's oldest child, concerning the lack of a "Dark" or "light" side of the force. well done.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some lady wrote a truly fascinating and clever book on the background history of the Phantom of the Opera from birth to his coming to live in the sewers of the Paris Opera. Everything made sense very logically belive it or not (being born disfigured to an aristocratic couple, being raised in secret, running away to the circus then the far east, etc.) It was called "Phantom".

Of course there were the "I Claudius" novels as well as one also very clever called "I Cleopatra". So books on the background of fictional and historical figures are nothing new.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Miss Piggy said...

Oh Darthy,

I knew you were out there in space, thinking of moi! I could feel you. Next time you get a day off, come and roll around in the mud with me. Forget about all these silly people making demands on you.

Piggy

15.5.05  
Anonymous Johsan Canew said...

The dutch watching the SW movies must have had a hard time.

"You can not fight Father alone."
"I must go meet Father."
"Luke, I am your father. No! Father can not be my father"

15.5.05  
Anonymous Steve said...

out of curiosity, was whoever said that the TIE had a full tank speaking in some sort of metaphor, or was that some special new form of TIE that doesn't derive its power from its solor panels?

15.5.05  
Blogger ChelseaTr0n said...

wow.


thats all i can say.

15.5.05  
Blogger Windypundit said...

TIE fighters may not use fuel for power, but don't they still need reaction mass? Something has to be coming out of those engine nozzles.

15.5.05  
Blogger K.O.J.A. said...

Oh my my this Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later now he's just a small fry

15.5.05  
Blogger Batman said...

All old-school X-wing gamers know that TIE stands for Twin Ion Engine. My uneducated guess is that they use the solar panels to ionize interstellar hydrogen which they propel out the engine outlets to maneuver. Hydrogen's simple and there's a lot of it out there...sounds like the design philosophy for the whole TIE fighter program!

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ideas for supervillian blog.... Predator, Dr. Evil, Hannibal Lecter (imagine the possibilities), the Kingpin, or perhaps another Sith, Maul?

15.5.05  
Blogger Adrien said...

Lord Vader,

As a capitan of my own ship, I know the stress of working too many days in a row. I commend you for taking a day off, and I recommend you do it more often. Once a week should boost your morale considerably.

Capitan Adrien Thrace
of the Canyon Dust

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

May the force be wif u!

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Staggering. It's a damn shame you aren't writing the prequel trilogy.

15.5.05  
Blogger Peter N. Glaskowsky said...

How about Paul Martin? You could give the rest of the world a humorous and educational look into the palace intrigue behind initiatives such as the new equalization and territorial funding formula framework. Here in the US, all we ever see is the results.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Geddy Lee said...

Sure, when you tear ass in a TIE fighter its bliss, but when I do it on Sundays in my uncle's car I have to ditch Stormtroopers by the one lane bridge.

Pure Hypocrisy.

Just Sayin'

G.L.

p.s. If you crush my trachea I will sing higher than you can possibly imagine.


p.s. If you crush my trachea I will sing higher than you can possibly imagine.

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cheeburgah,

Possible villains blog.

Skeletor

Cobra Commander (or Destro)

Saddam

Osama

Boss Hogg.

Keep up the good work!

15.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliance. Please don't stop writing!

15.5.05  
Blogger Tessje said...

Dear Darth Vader,

Applejuice of orangejuice?

Sincerly,
Tessje

16.5.05  
Blogger Anthony Vanoo said...

Hey Darth Vader, Who's Your Daddy?

Your mommie lied to Qui Gon. Episode III reveals the truth.

Also your highness,Why do you wear that scary mask?

16.5.05  
Blogger Darth Mandinga said...

Lord Vader,
After your previous answer to my question as to the issue of your, for lack of a better word, strict punishment of your high ranking officers upon failure, I decided to try things your way. I am delighted to say that it works wonders. Productivity has skyrocketed since crumbling the incompetent members of my senior staff to the floor in a sputtering heap. And while the incentive for others to take their places would seem to be rather thin, it seems that it has drawn out the most confident and dare I say, ruthless members of my staff to fill those positions.

As for your issues with Moff Jerjerrod, I would offer to be of assistance, but I would hate to deprive you of the deep pleasure you will take when crushing his paltry body under the immense weight of your mental wrath.

16.5.05  
Blogger Dave said...

This just keeps getting better and better.....

16.5.05  
Blogger Solomon2 said...

The "wings" of TIE fighters are neither solar panels nor airfoils. They are radiators, and their function is to bleed off the excess heat produced by the fighter's mini-reactor, which in turn powers the engines.

The extra-large "rudder" of Imperial shuttles serves the same function. Quad-engine Rebel X-wing fighters have less coolant wing area, and are thus slower craft than TIE fighters.

16.5.05  
Anonymous Wordman said...

In the highly unlikely event that I ever publish another fictional blog series... any other suggestions that might trod fresher turf?

Cartaphilus. (Abridged, of course.)

16.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The question most sought after of a Sith Lord:
Boxers or Briefs?

16.5.05  
Anonymous marciamarciamarcia said...

Dear Batman,

RE: TIE fighter internal systems

That is your uneducated guess? Good God.
*******************

Dear Cheeseburgerbrown,

RE: Evil blogs

The Osama idea would probably be in bad taste, I realize. But I think, if it was done well, it could be hilarious. I once saw an email forward that was ostensibly a note left by Osama to his cavemates, RE: the cave. I laughed my ass of at it. You could do just as well.

16.5.05  
Anonymous Joe is a geek said...

Any other suggestions that might trod fresher turf?
Knowing that I watched The Contender last night should explain my suggestions:

Apollo Creed
Clubber Lang
Ivan Drago

Yes, the main opponent in the Rocky movies (part V doesn't count). Personally, Clubber Lang is a one-joke route (how many times could "I pity the fool" be used???). Apollo was boring, but did make it in all 4 movies.
My choice would be Ivan Drago. The human machine being used by the political machine. Sports, politics, and Brigitte Nielsen all rolled into one.

16.5.05  
Anonymous Imperial Chronologitics Command said...

**Attention All Commands**

Chronologistic Sensors near the Richie Maze have detected a chrono-spatial distortion of roughly .73 parsecs in size.

Remote probing indicates that this distortion has caused an open-ended chroniton-well indenture. The opposite side of this well is estimated to be 770,290 parsecs away, in the Melkachtige Manier galaxy, near a yellow-orange star identified as Sol. This system is believed to be inhabited by one humanoid species, currently believed to be no higher than TechStat3. Timestamps from remote probes sent into the distortion suggest that the opposite (Sol side) distortion aperture exists roughly 350,000 years in the future.

Because of this distortion, some holonet and datanet transmissions may experience degradation due to signal bleed, or incorrect timestamps due to chronoton radiation bombardment. Starships using hyperspace travel in the Richie Maze region should adjust course headings by .682 towards galactic core, to prevent ship chronometers being affected by the chroniton well.

Special Warning Some holonet and datanet transmissions may be drawn into the distortion. We are unable to determine whether or not the inhabitants of this system/time are capable of recieving holonet/datanet transmissions. Please be aware of this if you recieve any unusual feedback, or feedback coming from undetectable co-ordinates.

As always, time is a difficult thing to keep grasp of when using faster-than-light travel, and such ruptures in linear time make the results go from merely annoying, to possibly dangerous. We are working on a solution, and appriciate your patience.

With utmost respect,
Commander Luto Geritol
Imperial Chronologistics Command,
Coruscant, Galactic Core.

16.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greetings, Lord Vader

This is my first post, but I have been enjoying your blog for a few weeks.

I have a suggestion for the next blog: Baron Harkonnen. Other figures from Dune (Feyd Ruatha, Duncan Idaho, etc.) are also good candidates.

Thanks,
rantipole

16.5.05  
Anonymous Lorelai said...

Never be too sure of yourself, my lord.

16.5.05  
Blogger Prophet said...

"Enjoy your flight, Lord Vader. She has a full tank."

Come ON! everyone knows that tie fighters have power sources that are charged through the solar receptor wings....

j slash k. cool blog dude.

16.5.05  
Blogger Chris W. said...

Quote: "I veered tight across the bridge of Executor, no doubt causing Admiral Piett to spill his tea."Unquote

"Top Gun", I presume? Next thing you know, he'll also be making high-speed passes at some Moffs daughter!

Good entry, though :D

16.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hail Eris!

On the topic of other notable villains you might blog, Nuihc (from the Destroyer series) is a prime candidate, I think (not sure if anyone else has ever done 'im), as well as Kang the Conqueror (including his various other selves, such as Rama-Tut, the Scarlet Centurion, and Immortus, though that may be more of a team project), Gharlane of Eddore and, for a change of pace, the Servants of Cthulhu...You might also consider a twist along the lines of, say, chronicling Havelock Vetinari's life and times, though PTerry's characters are a bit more difficult, considering the act you'd be trying to follow.

Snarky

17.5.05  
Blogger Nathan said...

Gurney Halleck
Helmut of Boskone
Professor Weston
Melkor

Hmmm. One hero, thre villains.


Yeah, we know what's interesting.

Heck, I'd like to see Ford Prefect's blog.

17.5.05  
Anonymous Grape said...

On the same note, Zaphod Beeblebrox or Marvin the Paranoid Android might be good. I also think The Vince Vaughan blog would be funny, memoirs of a tortured actor living in the shadows of Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller.

18.5.05  
Anonymous grape said...

Also, way to work the John Hughes.

18.5.05  
Anonymous A loyal minion said...

You must get really, really worked up sometimes. Although it is not my place to point out inconsequential, um, errors on your part, nonetheless...

...sent the nimble fighter to the glowing mouth of the atmospheric shields...

might be better as:

...sent the nimble fighter into the glowing mouth of the atmospheric shields...

Pleae don't kill me.

20.5.05  
Anonymous Rea said...

As to other blog ideas, I'd love to see Moriarty. You clearly have the depth of character development and the intelligence for it.

Nothing too obscure, please? then some of us less Sci-Fi wise folks might not get it.

20.5.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You ROCKA$$ Lord Vader...Yeeaahhh Boyyeeee!!
-Dark_Krystal

20.5.05  
Blogger NicFitKid said...

Darth, have you been reading Asimov again?

"Twin foundations separated by a galaxy, one sworn to uphold order and other sworn to disturb it."

Well talk about this back on Trantor-- er, Coruscant.

21.5.05  
Anonymous BradW said...

How about Jack Jeeves? I bet he's got serious galaxy-ruling fantasies standing behind that pawn shop counter.

24.5.05  
Anonymous TK4201 said...

Come in Lord Vader, Lord Vader , are you their Lord Vader. Hmmm, where did he go.

2.6.05  
Blogger Red Moon said...

Lord Vader
I'll be your Lady and we can reach out for the stars together. The universe is too big a place to be alone.

3.6.05  
Blogger Red Moon said...

To Tk4201
Come back in a few hours

3.6.05  
Anonymous jim said...

i think that you're one hell of a good writer

3.2.06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutly beautiful...

1.11.06  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Twin foundations separated by a galaxy...

Nice tribute to Asimov. Great blog and I'm sorry to see it end.

11.1.07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't know robotic limbs had knuckles, as opposed to hinges and sockets.

Signed,
The Medical Droid who slaved away to reattach your arms in the Imperial Rehabilitation Center darn it!

23.8.07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is incredible.

14.10.08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So alive indeed.

http://www.star-wars-comic.com

16.4.10  
Anonymous sarwar said...

nice work keep it up

19.3.12  

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