Author Chester Burton Brown
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Author Chester Burton Brown

20050415

Lunch Surprise


I will say this for being a tyrannical dark overlord: you get great service at restaurants.

The Centerpoint Station Grill is located in the south-west quadrant of Coruscant's Corelllian quarter, overlooking the Selonia tramway platform. My transport arrived early due to unusually light traffic. The restaurant staff encouraged my aides and I to sit down in a private room, but I preferred to await the general's party in the open air of the square, criss-crossed by the fleeting shadows of the lines of buzzing traffic above.

It is not the sort of thing people think about, but I do not get many opportunities to see any living world at the level of the street. I see worlds from balconies, from shuttles, through the reinforced windows of Imperial garrisons...

Sometimes it just feels good to get a little warm sun on my helmet.

The restaurant staff attempted to service us in the square, proffering exotic waters, wine and the best flavoured wafers from Jablim. They bowed low, and I spoke to their scalps. "Nothing right now," I said. The pedestrians cut a wide swath around us, making sure their feet did not touch my long shadow.

After a quarter of an hour I demanded, "What is the meaning of this delay?" and my aides scrambled to stuff communicators into their ears to make inquiries.

"Lord Vader, General Krelcon's office is not responding to our hails," they informed me.

"Curious," I said. And then the Centerpoint Station Grill exploded.

When the smoke cleared I saw that my aides had been reduced to a mewling, bleeding puddle at my feet. I stepped over them and waded into the debris. Chunks of masonry and flaming tapestry rained down on every side. A legion of stormtroopers rushed in around me, pawing at the bodies with their rifles. Their commanding officer jogged up beside me. "Lord Vader, are you unharmed?"

"Do not concern yourself, Commander. I want to know who was behind this."

"My patrol picked up the ignition signal, my lord. We believe it may have been a rebel code, though it was parasited on an Imperial transmission."

"Bring me General Krelcon: I want him alive," I ordered. The commander nodded without question and retired from the smoky ruin, covering his mouth and nose with the top of his tunic.

I surveyed the carnage around me with disdain. Freedom fighters, indeed!


10 Comments:

Anonymous Sabo said...

Lord Vader, excuse my ignorance... but I was wondering... how do you manage to eat something at a restaurant? I mean, with the helmet on, do you use a straw or something? perhaps some fine wine in a IV? force-driven osmosis? or do you travel with your chamber-pod for some munching privacy?

PS.
Please do not crush my trachea! I've a wife an a kid.
It's just a question... I mean... I'm just curious

25.4.05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes it just feels good to get a little warm sun on my helmet

oh god that kills me.

28.4.05  
Anonymous Assistant to Lord Vader said...

Lord Vader views 'doing lunch' as more than a chance for sustenance. It's an idea, an encounter, a day on the town. It's normally a chance for two equal minds to meet and discuss goings-on, but sadly this was not to be in Coruscant.

Anyway, Lord Vader wanted me to tell you not to worry how he eats and drinks; all that is taken care of away from the view of mere peons. 'Lunch' is not just food.

28.4.05  
Anonymous Holocron said...

Musings from a holocron:

You comment: "It's normally a chance for two equal minds to meet"

My statement: Lord Vader has no equal.

28.4.05  
Anonymous Palpatine said...

Idiot. Could you not forsee this? Your trechery runs deep, alas not deep enough. Return to me at once.

28.4.05  
Anonymous Master Yoda said...

Tuesday Starbucks lunch you say. Late you were. Left I did.

There is no try… there is only do or not do.

Y.

28.4.05  
Anonymous someone a long long time in the future, in a galaxy far far away said...

you'd think that the emperor would know how to spell. but noooo... too busy sitting around being sinister and wrinkled, is he?

28.4.05  
Anonymous Gollum said...

Wicked nasty hobbit's.

The precious is mine...

Vader helps us get it back?

29.4.05  
Blogger Sauron's Kid said...

Gollum,
what are you doing here? Face it, my father will get the ring and then I'll kill him and take it from him It's simple. Stay out of things you do not understand. Oh, and can I have that clone of my journal back? I would, um, really appriciate it....

your humble servant of doom

16.5.05  
Blogger Lena said...

Oh, wow. I love this blog, even though I read it backwards. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

28.12.05  

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